Emergency Room Fun
by Lady Manson
Summary: One of the souls gets suddenly sick and has to be taken to the hospital. But that is nothing compared to whathappens in the waiting room...
1. Hospital Coffee

Hello there…. Please know I have absolutely no rights over Soul Calibur in any of its forms, sizes, colors or flavors and that makes me extremely sad…. With that said… On with the show

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Hospital Coffee

It was the time and the place, the right one… revenge had never smelled so sweet. As she walked to the final battle, looking at Abyss in his infernal surroundings, she was more than determined to put an end to everything right there in that place. Besides… seeing Abyss flying was reason enough to know that that thing was not human in any way. But as she stood in a stance, ready to fight him…. She fell to the floor. Abyss looked wide eyed to the side.

"I… didn't touch her…. - then the thought stroke him, - I am psychic…." His face of joy was plainly amusing. Right then someone came in running.

"Ivy…. IVY…." The teen warrior of the wind kneeled beside Ivy whom was looking kind of in pain, kind of annoyed by Abyss's joyful floating for his newly discovered psychic abilities.

"H-hey… kiddo…." Ivy looked back at Talim as she looked for wounds or something that gave a hint on why she was so in pain. Then Abyss stopped floating and looked straight at Talim from his high position.

"Wind Girl…"

"My name is Talim…." She replied looking annoyed at Abyss.

"That's what I said…. Wind Girl…"

"I said…." She was interrupted by the über villain.

"Whatever Shorty…. What are you doing here…?" He asked going down from wherever it is that he was floating.

"Ivy seems hurt…"

"And this is shocking…. How precisely?" He asked as he looked at her concerned face and took out something and started sharpening his Scythe.

"She might die…. What is wrong with you man?' Talim appealed to the common sense of the guy, but this being Abyss…. There is no common sense… they guy can float for heaven's sakes.

"Newsflash sweet cheeks…. That's what I am here to do…" Talim felt really stupid at the moment. But then Siegfried entered the stage with Kilik and some guy wearing a headset. The guy walked to Ivy and Talim.

"Miss. Valentine… what seems to be the problem?" He asked as Abyss started floating again.

"Can you hurry it up….? I have a manicure appointment in 30 minutes…" Abyss continued as he floated in circles and Talim threw rocks at him. The guy ignored him and looked at Ivy.

"I don't know… It… just hurts a lot on my lower abdomen…." Abyss looked at her annoyed.

"You should be used to it… you are a grown woman…." Ivy blushed with the quote and Siegfried couldn't care less. He was just there watching Talim perform her Version of Duck Hunt with Abyss. The tech guy (let's cal him that…. Tech guy) touched her forehead.

"Miss. Valentine, you are running a fever…. –he pressed a button on his headset.- Guys… bring the stretcher…. This one is going to the hospital…" And with that a few paramedics came running and placed Ivy on the stretcher and took her away. Taki along with Mitsurugi came to the stage as Abyss descended from his air zone.

"What happened…?" Asked Taki.

"They are taking her to the Hospital…" Replied Talim walking to the exit of the stage. It was the first time something like this happened. The rest of the souls followed and so did Abyss, which was being stared at by Talim.

"What is it Windy?"

"Where are you going?" She asked ignoring the fact that he called her windy.

"I will follow this through… and if she can fight I will kill her there… With my Psychic powers…" He said as the rest of the group joined to go to the hospital with Ivy.

"I hate to break it to you…. – Siegfried commented as they got inside an elevator.- But you have absolutely no psychic powers…." Abyss just looked to the other side annoyed.

"Don't lie, Sieggy…. You enjoyed it…" Yun-Seung said.

"Every second of it…" Siegfried replied with a sinister smile as he pressed the button for the lobby. Nightmare looked at him… maybe he could convince him of joining forces… yes… forces…. Mwahahahaha.

As they arrived into the waiting hall in the hospital, Ivy was sitting on a wheel chair and was filling some papers for the insurance. She looked at them very surprised.

"What are you doing here?"

"We were concerned…" Replied Yun-Seung looking dreamily at Ivy's attributes.

"Not me…" Tira screamed as everyone took a place and sat down and she sat on an end table right beside Siegfried. Ivy looked annoyed at the green haired girl.

"What are you doing here then…?"

"I am following Siegfried…." She replied looking steadily at he whom was browsing on a newspaper's obituaries for only God knows what reason.

"Thanks for pointing that out… Captain Obvious…" whispered Taki as Cervantes started laughing his pirate laugh. He never thought Taki was so funny. Then, the nurses came by to pick up the insurance papers from Ivy and looked at Cervantes with some regards. Meanwhile, Talim was sitting between Xianghua and Abyss. She was having an interesting conversation on how pink was a good color to accentuate her cheekbones when Abyss called.

"Wind Girl…" Talim just ignored him.

"Sacre Bleu…. This guy is unbelievable!" Raphael said shaking his head in denial.  
"So are you… French version of Tuxedo Mask…- Siegfried commented to then go back to his obituaries.- Oh… look…. Jaques Leonard died… and he was a loving father…" He kept on with his life while being watched by Tira, he could even count her blinks. It was entertaining in a creepy kind of way.

"Wind Girl… Bring me a coffee…- Abyss demanded and Talim just ignored him.- Ah no… don't ignore me or Imma go psychic ghetto on your ass…" Taki chuckled and had to bite her lips not to laugh out loud. Nightmare looked at the thing as he held a Forbes magazine with a sharpie.

"Say Nighty… - Cassandra casually commented to take the minds off the recent comment.- What are you doing with that Forbes Magazine…?"

"Looking for souls…. AH… Bill Gates looks like a good one…" And he circled Bill Gates' face on the magazine.

"Sophitia…" Cassandra called… her older sister was supposed to protect her from anything and she felt like she asked the worst question to the wrong person… empty armor… thing…. Spirit… yes. Sophitia totally ignored her and looked at Ivy who was in pain, yet fascinated about the behavior they had outside of Namco's fighting arenas.

"I want coffee….Wind Girl… Get me coffee…" Abyss continued.

"You know… you could ask her by her name and use the rules of common courtesy…" Raphael said to Abyss whom looked at his Scythe and at a roaming guard whom was concerned about Nightmare's Soul Edge, Sieg's Soul Calibur and His Scythe. As he heard the comment he looked straight at Raphael.

"Screw the rules… I'm psychic…" He said rubbing his fingers on his temples for Talim to go get him a coffee.

"Still not psychic…" Siegfried Whispered flipping the pages of his paper and counting that Tira's blinks were over 569 in 10 minutes. It was going to be a long wait.

What will happen Next? Will Nightmare get Bill Gates' soul…? Does Bill Gates Have a soul? Will Talim succumb to the psychic powers and get the coffee? Will Abyss miss his Manicure and go ghetto on someone's ass? Will I write a new chapter…? Stay tuned….

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Here's chapter one… sorry it's kinda short… hope you like it… Ya Ne? Please review…


	2. Politically Insane

Chapter 2: **Politically insane**

Still waiting for Ivy to be taken for a check up, everyone now was looking at each other's faces because there was nothing better to be done or something else that they wanted to do. Besides, they were trying to find out who was going to be the first to be driven to insanity by the hospital's PA system. The situation was mostly the same, meaning Abyss was still betting on his psychic powers to convince someone of getting him a coffee.

"Siegfried…" Tira called at the blonde Germanic ex-demon lord, now resident hottie. He shifted his eye sight from the obituaries, which he had read for the tenth time now, to look at Tira. A raised brow was a sign interpreted by her as a 'proceed.'

"I will make you an offer you can't refuse." Yun-seung looked wide eyed at the girl as well as most of the souls did, even Nightmare who was now skimming through the pages of the latest edition of Time Magazine. His quest for vessels was never-ending.

"What about…. If you take back Master Soul Edge? I mean, Come on…." She continued. Siegfried morbidly turned his head to glance at Tira.

"Why?" He whispered with shock.

"That way I would not need to watch you anymore." She replied crossing her arms over her head.

"I can switch with you Tira." Talim said with an innocent smile. Kilik and Ivy looked at her with the corner of their eyes.

"God knows she just looks innocent and sweet." Commented Kilik.

"Indeed…" Replied she who was in utter pain but was yet to receive medical attention.

"I can help you Tira." Said Abyss.

"…How?' Asked Tira at he who was about to murder someone for a cup of coffee.

"I can convince him with my psychic powers." Siegfried blinked twice and went back to his obituaries. Nightmare, the current vessel of Soul Edge, looked at everyone a bit surprised.

"Excuse me… but… are you all OK with this?" He asked.

"Well Nighty… it was more fun when you were one with the Siegster there…." commented Cassandra. After that it felt as if the chilling winds of the Tundra took over the waiting area.

"Siegster?" Repeated Abyss just for the sakes of being annoying.

"Cassy Sister… you have to lay off on the Kool-Aid." Sophitia said as a few chuckles raged through the waiting hall.

"But the most important thing, Namu…- continued Yoshimitsu.- Is how would that make Nightmare feel." Mitsurugi sighed, now they were worried about the feelings of an evil spirit that possessed a sword and now was roaming the lands inside an armor.

"Think of it Master…- analyzed Tira.- You'll have a vessel again, this one you are used to…. All your furniture will fit well." Siegfried once again shifted his eyebrows.

"Furniture?"

"Plus… He's blonde, blue eyed... in shape, you know his kinks and quirks…. It's a win-win situation…. No homesick feeling… it will be like coming back home." Tira continued.

"This child is whacked…" Ivy sighed.

"But he is short…" Nightmare continued looking at now how Siegfried flipped furiously the pages of the newspaper. He was being objectified in the worst way possible. He was housing for Soul Edge, Siegfried Housing Services… we host your evil souls for a fraction of the price of anyone…. With fifty percent less complaining. He shook his head at his own thought.

"You are a soul, Master, how much space does a soul need?" Tira continued her discussion with Nightmare.

"I am a big soul… need room to grow."

"The rent will be cheaper and besides… you are pulling an Alphonse Elric here..." Commented Raphael as he came back from getting a cup of coffee.

"Is that for me?" Asked Abyss as he smelled the delicious brew of coffee beans and vanilla.

"If you have to ask…. It's not yours you overgrown cockroach." Siegfried was now getting upset. He was being called cheap.

"Ouch…. It's not my fault that you look like you walk in a hole you German dwarf!" Abyss was obviously offended and if things kept going that way, someone was gonna get seriously screwed.

"I believe is better not to go there… He is very concerned about his size." Commented Sophitia with an innuendo-filled tone that made Ivy smirk, she couldn't laugh cause she was in pain.

"Yeah…. Remember when I asked him to bring me my can of worms…- explained Astaroth while the nurses seemed to be concerned about his well being.- He went to pick it had to tiptoe and it fell on his left foot." Xianghua started chuckling, she remembered the moment and she had never seen so many profanities come out of the mouth of such a small person.

"Leave him alone…- Seung Mina entered the argument.- After all Size doesn't matter…" With that one, Siegfried sighed, he was now aware that they were speaking of everything but his height.

"So… what do you say Master? Go back… if he breaks I will get you a new one, Sophitia still has two nice vessels in growth." Tira continued as she pulled out two folders with the information she had made a P.I. collect on Sophitia's kids.

"Ok OK…- Nightmare gave up.- Go ahead Abyss, do your Psychic mombo jumbo and make him accept me." Abyss stood up and walked to Siegfried. He was determined that he was psychic and Siegfried has turned into his mortal nemesis by just denying the obvious fact that he was psychic. Sitting right in front of Siegfried he called at the blonde, which lowered once again his newspaper and looked at Abyss. Abyss passed his hands in front of Siegfried's beautiful eyes and started rubbing his temples.

"You are under my command… I am your master…. –he said in a really eerie tone.- You have no will power, no need for anything but to obey my every command…." Siegfried slowly closed his eyes and seemed in a hypnotic sleep. Every one of the souls there looked in owe, the damn thing did have psychic powers.

"Oh Snap… He is psychic…" Shouted Cassandra being immediately watched by Sophitia, Ivy, Kilik and Mitsurugi.

"Seriously Cassy Sister…. Lay off on the Kool-Aid…"

"Now….- Continued Abyss.- I am your only master…. I am your truth…. Who is your truth?" He asked the hypnotized one.

"You are." Replied Siegfried with a monotonic voice.

"And now… what do you have to say to me?" Siegfried slowly moved his head and when he was facing Abyss straight, he opened his eyes slowly and said…

"Still not psychic…. Nice try though…" He stood up leaving his newspaper behind. Nightmare looked at him expectant.

"Does this mean you will not take me back? I am willing to pay you rent… Namco can save in salaries…." He tried to convince the blonde who simply sighed.

"Not happening." Siegfried replied as he started to walk, then he looked back and saw Tira looking at him.

"Where do you think you are going?"

"I am watching you." She replied coldly. Siegfried sighed loudly, his privacy was going to hell since Tira joined the Soul Project.

"Please Nightmare… tell her to stop… this is getting old." Complained Siegfried.

"Tira… Stop following him." Replied Nightmare going back to his magazines.

"I have to follow him, Master."

"Sorry blonde…- apologized Nightmare.- They don't make wretched servants like they used to." And he went back to his magazine. Siegfried sighed more than loudly now and started walking towards the bathroom. He stood by the door, she looked really determined to enter the place.

"I can take her off from you if you bring me coffee…" Abyss negotiated.

"Get your own coffee…" Siegfried replied entering the bathroom and behind him Tira.

"GIVE ME COFFEE DAMN IT!" Yelled Abyss biting his scythe.

What will happen Next? Will Abyss get Coffee? Does size matter? Will Tira stop following Siegfried? Will Nightmare find a Vessel? Will we know what is wrong with Ivy? All that and three muffins when we come back to Emergency Room Fun.

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Ok guys…. This is chapter 2…. Thanks for the reviews…

To Sharper Lee: Sorry about the Jumbled-ness… Hope you got your souls

To Edme McCormic: Don't worry about getting lost… most times I do so myself

To heaven-monument: Served…. Another chapter…. And Pointless is my specialty hahaha

To Paladin Dragoon : Thanks for the pointers. Will watch for them. Thanks for reviewing

To urbanqueen41: Here you go girl another chapter…. enjoy


	3. Mocha Madness

Chapter 3: Mocha Madness

Ivy was finally taken into the initial check up; right after Cervantes gave some tough love to the head nurse. –Insert random nurse terrified to her bones and Cervantes laughing maniacally here -. The rest of the Souls were basically locked up in a never ending cycle of boredom. Nightmare was out of Magazines and was on his cell phone, Xiangua was talking to Kilik, Talim, Mitsurugi and the Greek sisters and Tira was looking at Siegfried.

"What are you doing?" He asked her.

"I am watching you closely." She replied while she scanned Siegfried's soul with her bare eyes. Siegfried was already tired of the thing, two chapters of stares… I mean, two hours of stares could get to anyone's nerves. Hours, not chapters, hours.

"You know what I consider strange though. – casually commented Xianghua as Raphael threw away his coffee cup.- Where is Abyss?" She asked looking around.

"Maybe he has decided he is not psychic and went to get his own damn coffee…" Talim scuffed.

"TALIM!" A Powerful voice called upon her. She looked wide eyed as everyone was just as surprised except Sieggy who was skimming the pages of Cosmo magazine.

"Y-yes?" She asked standing up.

"It is I…. the deity of your choice and devotion. I have a special quest for you." The supernatural voice continued.

"Deity?" She looked at Siegfried who was looking at Nightmare walking from side to side speaking in his mobile phone.

"God, a deity is a god, - he replied.- What the hell are you doing, Nightmare?"

"I am talking to my Vesseltor…. A realtor of Vessels. I'll get back to you Siegster, Mark listen... no damn it…. That's it, your soul will be part of MY COLLECTION… he-hello? – The annoying tone of a dropped call filled the waiting area.- DAMN YOU CATCHY PUBLICITY!" Nightmare yelled smashing his brand spanking new RAZR phone to the floor.

"Vesseltor, yeah, Oh look, tips on how to turn her on in bed!" And Siegfried was lost in the wonderful world of Cosmopolitan.

"Ahem, - the deity cleared its throat. – Yes, TALIM… you must bring me an offering of your devotion." Cassandra raised her eyebrow and looked at her sister. They had many deities as Greeks and they have never seen a god asking directly for one person's offering.

"Should we change from religious faith, sis?"

"Stay quiet Cassy, you look prettier that way." Sophitia said with a heavy sigh.

"What kind of an offering?" Talim asked.

"An offering of Mocha and Vanilla…. Liquid and hot, fit for me, the deity of your choice and devotion. Go forth brave warrior Priestess of the Wind, and bring me this offering, I the Lord, have spoken!" Talim just looked confused. Mocha, Vanilla? Liquid and Hot?

"…Coffee?" She whispered looking at Siegfried whom without raising his sight from the magazine pointed up. She looked up seeing Abyss cramped in a corner of the ceiling sitting on his scythe and giggling mischievously while singing 'coffee, coffee' over and over again.

"psst…. Abyss…" called Nightmare.

"What? - And when he turned and looked Nightmare chuckled evilly and got out of the way showing a pissed off Talim with a paper holder in the shape of Mount Rushmore aimed at him. – Oh Sh…" And she threw the paper holder at him and got him right in the middle of the eyes. Abyss fell to the floor behind the waiting area's sofa. Talim went and sat down beside Siegfried who was getting a tic in his left eye for having Tira looking at him for so long now.

"Divine Retribution hurts…." Commented Kilik as Taki chuckled lightly.

"I… need… medical…. Attention! - scuffed Abyss having the paper holder stuck in his forehead. – …and coffee!" And Abyss passed out.

"Good luck with that!" Yunsung replied as he looked at the door where nurses came and went.

Fifteen minutes went through of relative peace and quiet. Taki was looking very interested at Siegfried. His tic had worsened in the last 15 minutes.

"Sieg, we are in a hospital, maybe you should have that checked." She casually said as Tira now had a bag of pop corn and she kept staring at him.

"You know something Vessel…- she commented while munching. – If you keep having so much stress, your acne will act up. Your skin is so soft now. I wonder how it will look blemished." She smiled maniacally. Nightmare, whom to this moment was reassembling his phone, looked at her wide eyed.

"Don't you dare , you wretched servant."

"Why not Master?"

"Because I can't go swaying girls off their feet if his face is blemished. The scar is OK. Girls dig battle scars, but acne is a no-no…" Nightmare explained while rolling a newspaper.

"Sway girls off their feet? - Maxi pondered. – That sounds like a plan!" Without a word Taki hit Maxi's head and kept looking at the interesting argument.

"But Master, I have to bend his will so he takes you back… or kill him." She continued arguing. Nightmare walked to her and kneeling beside her, he pulled out a bottle of spray filled with water and sprayed water on Tira's face. She hissed and crawled to Raphael's legs. From there she looked at Siegfried and hissed at him.

"Bad Tira, no blemishing the Vessel. Now, I have to call my Vesseltor again!" And Nightmare pulled out the miraculously restored to perfect working condition RAZR. Talim just looked in owe, Tira was as scared of water as a kitten, Nightmare was completely concerned with Siegfried's skin health and Sieggy was on his way to the shrink.

"Doesn't this bother you a single bit?" She asked him.

"Can't you hear my silent screams?" He replied with utter indifference,

"Isn't that an oxymoron?" Asked Kilik.

"No Kilik.- Replied Siegfried. - An Oxymoron would be Tira with an oxygen mask. – He stood up. – I will take a walk through the hospital." And he started fixing himself up.

"I am going with you…" And one by one mostly all of the souls stood up and walked into the hospital fun field with Sieggy the mighty German. Tira stood beside him.

"Where do you think you are going?"

"With you! I am not keeping you out of my sight!"

"Ah no you won't." He ordered her. He was tired of her, she stared at him, looked at his miseries in the bathroom and in the end he couldn't go wee-wee because she was staring, she wanted him to blemish and hissed at him. She was officially on his 'I will murder you in painful ways and enjoy it to unknown extents' list.

"Who is going to keep me from it?" She defied. Siegfried smiled, he was waiting for that moment. He pulled out something from his pocket.

"A Rubik's Cube?" Talim asked with utter disbelief in her face.

"A Rubik's cube…" Kilik Gasped while looking at Tira's face fade.

"A Rubik's Cube!" Proudly affirmed Siegfried.

"Big deal, a stupid cube…" Cassandra scuffed, she wanted to go exploring in the hospital. Tira was twitching.

"My only weakness. How could you?" She was obviously offended and compelled by the device. She had never been able to solve or break a Rubik's Cube. She wanted to solve it but never could. Siegfried moved the cube up, down and around and Tira followed it with her eyes like she was bewitched by it, taken to a trance-like state by the evil contraption.

"You want it?" Asked Sieg.

"Yes!" She replied. Siegfried opened a door and tossed it inside.

"Go get it!" And off was Tira inside a Janitor's closet to get her cube. Siegfried smiled evilly, turned off the light of the closet and locked the door. Putting the key in his pocket he smiled to Tira's banging on the door.

"Open up! Open UP! At least turn on the light so I can see the cube…. HELLO!!!! DAMN YOU SIEGFRIED! YOU AND YOUR GERMAN MANLY BEAUTY! YOU ARE GONNA PAY… I SWEAR! Oh, a flash light." And then there was silence. In the hallway of the hospital, Siegfried smiled.

"Where did you get a Master Key and a Rubik's cube?" Raphael asked very suspiciously.

"Ebay…" Siegfried said walking to the closest bathroom. Whatever adventure waited for him now that he was rid of Tira, it had to wait till his bladder was empty.

Back in the waiting area, Nightmare was outside of the hospital arguing with his Vesseltor. And in walked Astaroth with a cup of Mocha and French vanilla blend coffee.

"Abyss…It took me more than thirty minutes but I found your coffee. Where is my can of worms?" But Abyss was nowhere to be seen. He turned to look and maybe ask Nightmare where everyone was when he found himself facing a group of people, they were doctors and a lot of suits.

"Mr. Astaroth?" One of the suits asked.

"Yes?"

"We need to talk to you…" And they shot a tranquilizing dart into Astaroth's bum. He was asleep in 5 seconds. One of the doctors leaned down grabbed the coffee and smelled it.

"Mmmm… Mocha and French Vanilla." And drinking the coffee they took Astaroth on a wheelbarrow and left. Just then Abyss woke up, still with Mount Rushmore stuck on his forehead. He stood up a little dizzy.

"I smell coffee…" He said looking around and a passing by nurse looked at him.

"OMIGOSH!" She yelled and a bunch of male nurses took Abyss to try and remove Mount Rushmore from his forehead.

"I only wanted a cup of coffee…" He wept as he was put on a stretcher.

What will happen next? Will we get to see the three muffins? Will Tira come out of the Janitor's closet? Will Nightmare get a truce with his Vesseltor? Will I become coherent? All that and tap dancing nurses in the next chapter of Emergency Room Fun.

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Ok Guys…. Chapter 3 is here, hope you liked it. Now I feel like drinking coffee. But… more into the subjects, review answering time.

To Paladin Dragon: Thanks for the encouragement, and I will think about the adverbs.

To Calibur Edge: Glad you like it Thanks for reviewing

To Sharper Lee: Yes indeed one can never have too many souls… I myself have a vast collection. I am a soul enthusiast. Hope u liked it, thanks for reviewing,

To CRYSTAL TEAR020: Served, a new chappie… and yes, the souls can make a mess even in a room with no corners… mmmm ideas, ideas, thanks for reviewing.

To Save Mariah: Thanks for the fave, I will do my best to keep it up… hope u like dthis chapter

To Heaven-monument: Hahahaha the coffee is a running gag… I will see what I can do, thanks for the review and the compliment.

Rain54: I will write more don't worry glad to hear from you.

Ok Guys thanks for reading and reviewing and see ya all soon. Toddles.


	4. European Blend Distress

Staind singing in the corner: It's been a while …

Here's Manson, sorry for the delay, I was chasing Leprechauns with a fishnet. You know I don't own Soul Calibur…. With that said, On with the Show!

Chapter 4: **European blend distress**

As our beloved Abyss opened his eyes, his head hurt like nothing else. He was in a pristine room, to his side he could see the statue Talim forcefully attached ho his forehead and as he touched his head he had a band aid on his forehead. Sitting down he looked around.

"Where am I? Where is my scythe?" As he questioned himself, in came a mob of doctors with yellow notepads and sharpened pencils. They all sat around Abyss with no words said. One of the doctors raised a mug from Borders and drank its content before throwing it away.  
"Coffee…?" Abyss asked with a demented look to his face.

"It seems we have a LONG way to go, Mr. Abyss…" The head of the doc mob commented as he curled his mustache. Abyss looked at his tag; his mane was Dr. Sevarius Freud, focusing underneath the name Abyss read: 'Insect psychologist.' Rising his fists to the heavens, Abyss let out an angry yell:

"SIEGFRIEEEEEEEEEED!"

**-Somewhere in the hospital-**

After taking care of the pending business he had with the bathroom, Siegfried and company walked through the halls of the hospital. Some commented the things they wanted to do, others simply rolled their eyes.

"Talim…" Yunsung called as the teen warrior counted her nickels and dimes in case they came across a vending machine.

"Yes?"

"Where did you get the paper holder you tossed at the best blunt objects." She commented as Cassandra looked at her.

"Ah, you mean, now they are a non-profit organization." And they kept speaking about the so called injury supporting website while Raphael approached Siegfried with utter disbelief printed on his French face. Meanwhile Sophitia tried to see if in their hospital quest, they could find a DNA lab to make sure if she was actually related to Cassandra.

"Can you believe them?" Raphael asked.

"Nope, I can't my dear Tuxedo Mask…" Siegfried replied as he took a left and they found themselves facing a door. The door read, Authorized Personnel Only. It was yet another dead end for our team of souls.

"This is getting us nowhere. – Siegfried sighed as he leaned on a close by wall. Every way they took just took them to places that were off limits. – Who would have thought a hospital was going to be so boring?"

"Look at what I found!" Kilik came out wearing a doctor's uniform. Perhaps that way they could walk around and nobody was going to ask questions. So the souls walked to the closet and grabbed the uniforms. When it was Sieg's turn, the only uniform left was a female nurse's uniform.

"Oh, no I am not…- He stopped his denial when he saw the mad piranha smiles on the faces of the girls of the clan.- Girls, erase that thought from your head." He demanded as Mitsurugi blocked his way so he could not get out of the room.

"Sieggy!" The guys whispered as the diabolical smiles drew on the lips of Kilik and Yunsung.

"Guys, n-no! I am not going to. You are supposed to defend me." He compelled to their manly testicular link while Kilik and Yunsung smirked.

"Bad things should also happen to the pampered child of Namco, Mon Cheri." Raphael whispered as he tied Sieg's arms with a strap to a pipe. Anyone who opened that door would definitely get the wrong idea and call the police.

"But, but, I defended you Talim from Abyss. –Siegfried struggled as he was restrained and could not help himself to his last bit of dignity. Still, Talim kept herself away from helping the blonde while Taki handed her cold hard cash for her bribed neutrality. - How can you say that, guys? I have to stand Tira, and Nightmare is trying to lease my body. You can't do this to me! – But no argument was working. His eyes widened as he was deprived from his work gown and he saw Xianghua licking her lips armed with Max Factor's Peaches and Cream shade lipstick and Cassandra was pulling out of her pocket a Cover Girl make up kit. – Take that away from me, Xianghua, don't! I will tell everyone you love to eat raw macaroni!" And then they gagged the poor German, all while Xianghua looked like a mad scientist and even got eye glasses and they shun evilly under the shaky light of the cleaning closet. She looked at Cassandra who started handing her the tools for the job and with an eerie smile; Xianghua faced Siegfried once more with a finger covered with foundation.

"Time to look easy breezy beautiful, Siegster!" She whispered with a shady smile.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**-In the Janitor's closet where Tira was locked with her Rubik's cube-**

There was a sudden chill that ran up and down her spine as she dropped the cube. She was holding the flashlight between her shoulder and her neck and was sitting between a mop and a broom.

"My Siegfried senses are tingling! – She commented with a maniacal smile. Looking to the side she looked at the broom. – Ah Mr. Sweepy, wait until you meet the Vessel. He's so blonde and pretty, like a doll. –She looked at the mop. - What's that Lady Strings? You want to meet him too? That is so nice, we can all play together. MWAHAHAHAHAHA we can rearrange that pretty face of his…" And she kept laughing and laughing while clasping onto the cube of hell and the flashlight slipped from her grasp and broke.

"Aw, - Tira whimpered in the dark closet. - I fucking hate karma!" Then someone opened the door.

"Tira?" Nightmare was holding his RAZR phone and looking wide eyed at the girl in the closet, the voice of the vesseltor filling the utility closet.

"Master, it's great to see you. Mr. Sweepy, Lady Strings and I were speaking about playing games with the vessel…" She commented with insane happiness. Nightmare was freaked out. And let's face it; it takes a lot to freak out an empty armor inhabited by a vengeful spirit.

"Mr. Sweepy, Lady Strings….? Yeah, right, I think it is in the best interest of our Spirit/wretched servant relationship that you stay locked in this closet." And Nightmare closed the door and locked it and then placed a spiritual seal on the door.

"Master, MASTER! Please turn on the light so I can see the… - she stopped speaking. - UH, glow sticks!" Nightmare looked at the door and decided not to even wonder why there were glow sticks inside a Janitor's closet. And so he kept his way. As he disappeared around the corner, the Janitor came to his closet.

"Why can't I open the door? - He asked after at least trying five times with no success. He may need a hammer to open it. – Oh, Emilio-oh!" The Janitor walked away melodiously calling for a random Latino Handyman to open his closet.

Nightmare kept walking around the hospital with no luck in finding the rest of his work partners. Meanwhile, His arguments with the Vesseltor didn't cease the least.

"Listen to me… No… wait, Mark…" Nightmare tried to speak.

"Mr. Nightmare, why isn't it a good idea?" The Vesseltor argued back.

"I refuse to be known as the Armor formerly known as Prince!" And he hung up. Apparently the vesseltor got him a deal with someone who has turned his name into a symbol. As he walked, he saw the crowd of souls packed in a corner and dressed like doctors.

"Guys, I have been looking everywhere for you. Where is…- Nightmare stopped as he saw a beautiful blonde nurse with glossy peach lips and the strongest legs he had ever seen. The skirt she was wearing barely covered her reduced decency. - Siegfried?"

"Don't you even Dare!" The nurse, which now is more than obvious, is Sieggy, bickered. And as if compelled by a force stronger than himself, Nightmare fell to the floor crawling around with the mother of all laughing attacks.

"Wow, I have never seen a vengeful spirit inhabiting a hollow armor laugh so hard." Cassandra remarked as Talim took a video with her cell phone of the moment.

"How many vengeful spirits inhabiting hollow armors do you know, Sis?" Sophitia asked as she shook her head in denial. Cassandra just sighed.

"You enjoy my misery don't you?" Siegfried whispered as he made his biggest effort to stay on his feet and not on his ass because they even got him high heels. Cervantes and Yoshimitsu brought a stretcher and placed Nightmare on it because he passed out for laughing so hard. Sighing, Siegfried looked inside the pocket of his sexy nurse uniform and found a hospital keycard.

"So where to, Nurse Angel Siegfried?" Maxi asked as he fixed his lab coat and looked at Siegfried.

"Do you have a death wish, dandy boy?" Siegfried asked crunching his knuckles.

"Whatever you say Miss Krankenschwester (Nurse in German, if translated literally it means Sister to the ill)" Everyone began laughing but Talim who seemed to notice Siegfried was going to blow a fuse if they kept teasing him.

"Let's go!" Talim said taking the keycard and sliding it, she opened the dreadful door that kept them from having a wonderful day in the hospital.

"Siegster, those shoes make wonders for your booty!" Cassandra casually commented as the unconscious Nightmare chuckled on the stretcher.

"Didn't he pass out 5 minutes ago?" Mitsurugi wondered looking at the twitching armor.

"You know, if Idiots could fly, Namco would be an airport!" Siegfried regretfully said as they entered the wonderful land of Hospitals.

**-Back with Abyss-**

Abyss kept rubbing his fingers on his temples while the psychologists sighed in defeat.

"You will let me out!"

"Stop that Mr. Abyss, you are not psychic." Dr. Freud tried to talk some sense into the 'thing' that is Abyss.

"Dr. Freud, I can't find which species of insect he is?"

"A mimic perhaps?" A third doctor added herself to the conversation.

"Maybe we should call that CSI guy, he knows everything about bugs!" Dr Freud sighed and picked up the extension.

**-Back with the souls-**

Talim pondered profoundly while they walked into the forbidden zones of the hospital.

"Wait, Xianghua likes eating raw macaroni?"

What will happen next? Will Siegfried loose an ankle walking in high heels? Will Lady Strings meet Sieggy the mighty? Will Dr. Freud find Gil Grissom? All that and Pringles Chips in the next chapter of Emergency Room Fun!

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Well Guys and Gals, Sorry for the delay, I was locked in a mountain trying to rid the world of Vayne Solidor and The Occuria. But now…. Review answering time YAY:

To ShadowBlade2044: Thank you very much for noticing my work. It is always good to be recognized and even though I always find someone who likes what I write, I was not aware of the condition of the Soul Calubur Fics you expose. I am glad that in one way or the other my work stands out. Thanks for the review and I hope you liked this chapter as well.

heaven-monument: Hmm? Tea, I am not sure, I didn't think of tea. Now that you mention it I will take it to consideration. And thanks a lot for the coffee suggestion, Many many ideas tolling through my evil little head. Thanks for reviewing.

Alastor Sparda: Thanks for reading, and by the way don't you feel Rubik's cubes are evil? –shows one- Look at it, is so compelling and mysterious and….. –reply interrupted for authoress' falling in the claws of a Rubik's cube.-

Paladin Dragoon: Thanks very much, it's always good to know that I get to impress one of the souls that actually pointed out ways in which to improve my work/ Thanks a lot, hope you liked this one too.

Save Manah: My apologies, happens when you have no sleep for a few days…. LOL, anyhow, glad you like the chappie and thanks for the review.

Grabsalute: I am glad to be the first reviewed, makes my dark heart rejoice. Sorry about the hard to follow part, it's kind of an image of my thoughts…. I wonder if I need professional help. Thanks for reviewing.

Insanity Lord: LOL, thanks for noticing my insanity. Here you have more , thanks for reviewing.

pirra kusu: Short and concise, that is always good. Here's some more, thanks for reading.

AspasiaPyralis: Well, new name, same nice reviewer. I am glad you like it and the wee wee is important.

Klaira: Me is flattered, thanks for the review. And I am not sure on what Ivy has but if she was pregnant, then….. –all hell would break loose.- Yeah, that's how it would go. Hehe, please keep reading and reviewing.

Thanks for reading and please review…. Me lurv ya all… Toddles!


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